Do words mean the same to say as to hear?
Monday, July 11, 2011 at 11:17PM 
That old adage about us all seeing the colour red differently* got me thinking, what about words and interpretation?
We use words as currency or placeholders to sum up different emotions in shorthand. The problem with this is in the interpretation - although the words we use commonly should have a common meaning for them to be effective, we in fact all have our own interpretations.
Take the straightforward word “grumpy” - what does this mean to you? If someone described you as grumpy would they be saying that you be upset, depressed, angry, frustrated ... ? I debated this with a friend recently and we both disagreed fundamentally about the specifics, so I want to know what you think?
How would you describe grumpy?
*Apparently this is rot and we do in fact see almost the same colour as each other ...
On a related note, this is fascinating Linguistic relativity and the color naming debate
colour, perspective, words in personal
Reader Comments (24)
Totally agree - the modern world seems to use words so flippently with little reguard for their actual meaning.. Like 'oh that dress is awesome' 'I love that dress.' And things like: 'I was raging' - often means I was angry... I'm sure the list could go on and on... X
I like the word crosspatch to sum up what grumpy means...
And I love this sight.. http://savethewords.org/
Words are always imbued with emotion and experience and context and culture and meaning - and because of this words will often mean very different things to people. I imagine a lot how a word is heard and interpreted will be influenced by whether the two people are in one another's presence, whether body language and energy also come in to play and inform...and set a tone that a word a lone cannot always convey.
I think you nail the point with the concept of "the shorthand". Of course, it would be too long and tedious to explore every "flavour" or "angle" of the great nebulous clouds of feelings that are, often, the hardest to explain.
In your example, "grumpy" means only an observed reaction that deviates, in a negative sense, from my expectations of another human's - whom I've observed regularly enough to comment - "standard" behaviour.
As the above sentence, so perfectly elucidates the shorthand is so totally necessary to avoid all conversations being an exposition upon semantics, ideologies and internal "checks and balances".
In short, in order to be clear with each other, we need to ensure we're on the same footing. This is why I love the phrase "you dig?" :)
Fantastic comments guys, thank you.
Grumpy is a dwarf, he was a moany individual who was reluctant to take part and at times quite lazy. Grumpy is also my Dad when he is tired. grumpy is me before my first coffee, no wait that is suiciadal.
I love the word grumpy, it conjours up pictures of an old guy in a cardi, moaning about the state of the world till he gets his cocoa before matron tucks him in. Grumpy is paining a picture for me.
I think it is a shame that we don't use more 'painting' words. Words that when you immediatly hear them, the picture is there in your mind. I think this is why there is often disagreement over the meaning of the word as when you here grumpy, you paint your picture and I scribble mine.
Words. Aren't they a wonderful 'thing'? ;)
Love the approach Mark, I believe you are correct. As individuals, words can land upon us in ways never intended, in ways we couldn't have imagined. Sparking emotions that can cut or heal the deepest of wounds.
The intent, the emotion, speed of delivery can transform words into something quite different that will evoke a reaction in one and be disregarded by another. Based on life's experience, those moments we hardly notice, shape our relationship with words everyday which could even change your understanding of the word 'Grumpy' in minutes, weeks or years.
How powerful.
Then there's the written word. The emotion it can present all in your own mind. Yours, most definitely different to mine.
Beautiful.
The real magic is how you deliver words to your audience. How do you want them to perceive 'grumpy'? Structure your sentence, delivery, so you encourage an understanding. Control it.
Yip, Beautiful...
Grumpy
Someone behaving out of character in the negative sense. Unresponsive, rejecting, usually responds with a grumble. Also wears colourful clothing, funny hat, big nose and sing (grumbles) on it's way to work with a bucket and spade...
You dig?
:)
Short-term, I would see grumpy as meaning tired and irritable. It will pass.
Mid-term I would see it as curmudgeonly. Like H.L.Menken, Jack dee et al. A dry take that can amuse and entertain - but only at its best - an art-form.
Long-term grumpy would suggest being defeated by life. Perpetually dissatisfied and negative. Dull company.
I love words and word play. I think it's fascinating that words mean different things to different people. I think words DO have different meanings to different people, its why words have changed so much over time (ie gay).
Grumpy for me is more of an affectionate term. Ie grumpy old man - not nasty or spiteful but grumpy. My ex next door neighbour used to be grumpy but he was the nicest man you'll ever meet.
I was always fascinated by word and used to read the dictionary for fun. In those days it was the history of them.
Nowadays I'm getting more and more distressed by the necessity to define things, to label everything. Some of us don't need it. I need people to look beneath the words and understand the intent and sense the emotion and history behind a particular label and what I mean by it. By all means discuss and ask what a person means by a word. All things in a friendly open and trusting manner. No one way is wrong. This is why dictionaries have more than one meaning for a word.
Looking up the word 'Nice' in the dictionary for instance. the worlds most misused and lazy word? However we control words our own language. Dictionaries are being rewritten all the time and perfectly wonderful emotive words are being lost along the way for new words.
I read somewhere that the English language has the largest collection of words of any language out there. It has a life of its own. It has always collected from other languages. I heard that the root of English originates in a little area of Holland. Fascinating.
Words - and indeed language - is like a floating organism which changes with time and depending on the people that surround it. Words are the fascinating and diverse cells which make up this creature. Words are full of meaning and connotations, different for different people, depending on their background and culture.
Just look at the number of American words which have entered the British English in the last, say 20 years. The organism has indeed floated across the Atlantic a lot lately.
We avoid certain words in certain companies, because we know they would not be received or looked upon in the way we intended. And yes, the word 'gay' is a perfect example. 'Cool' is another.
Closer to (my) home, there are words which only have to travel a few miles to change meaning. The Swedish word 'tölig' means 'childish' in my hometown. Travel east for 30 minutes and it means 'boringly annoying, something that goes on a bit'.
And "grumpy"? For me it means Victor Meldrew. Someone who, deep down, means well but for some reason not showing his/her best side at this moment in time.
"Grumpy" gives me equal measures of 'mean old git' and 'not loved enough' / 'need more cake'.
Love the blog post Mark...
Oh such fantastic comments - really got my brain going! Thank you all so very much.
What an usual and thought provoking question! Firstly, I am smiling at the number of responses and different layers of questioning this post has provoked so well done Mark - keep 'em coming.
I love words. I particularly love hand written words and believe that when you write a word long hand it changes its meaning purely because you are more engaged with the physical process of writing it.
For me the word grumpy describes being consciously miserable - people who are grumpy usually know they are. This is very different from being fed up or down or sad or depressed. You make a decision to be grumpy and usually you are questioned within minutes 'why are you being grumpy?' The scottish equivalent is the word 'crabbit' which translates to 'grouchy'.
This post has ensured I will be positive and chirpy today so thank you x
Lovely post and great comments, thanks Mark.
Interesting: no-one's yet talked about poetry: what makes us choose one word over another: why the sound, association, rhythm of some words is 'poetic' and some simply isn't.
Take 'grumpy' for example - which in my view would be hard to wrap into a poem. It just ain't a poetic word. But I could be wrong ... anyone care to place it in a stanza?
I remember the first time I had a read through of a play I'd written. It was the first long form piece I'd produced and sitting with the cast as we read through was an amazing experience.
Mainly because of how the words I'd written sounded when I heard them through other people's voices.
When I write I say the dialogue, out loud, to myself, but it's not the same. The importance of hearing words said is vital to humanity. Saying them to ourselves as we read them off a screen, be it a tweet, email or our own writing is no substitute for experiencing the joy, emotion, confusion, surprise of hearing a word by the tongue of another.
As a scriptwriting teacher now I explain the importance of having actors read the words students write, but they never listen, or rather, they never hear.
A word is a collection of letters that can mean one thing when we read them, another when we say them and another when we hear them, I believe.
I've fallen in love because someone said a certain word a certain way.
It's spectacular.
I loved Gary's (as ever) unique way of spinning intricacy from simplicity but might say that someone in the last bracket, suffering from prolonged bouts of grumpiness might be hiding depression behind that grump.
Just saying. Are you hearing?
Neil
Words are the means to describe a personality, character and or even an action. The words people choose to communicate through derive from their very own personality and culture. Being a native speaking is an advantage to pick up the best words but not necessarily the most genuine communications!
Sadly words have become source of revenue for some and this in fact endangering the literature and national culture. Words can lose their meaning if people use them in every context they feel like using. Type of words we use in our everyday life can also be based on our moods and the type of person/people we’re communicating with – that is undeniable that we sometimes mirror the personality of the opposite party simply due to the human nature. Some people may choose to be more diplomatic and respond aggressively in a very different way, the way their audience will realise after the conversation is over or even days and weeks later. As communication is sophisticated, it is incredibly important to reason and analyse someone’s words before jumping to a conclusion and label them with OUR words!
Getting back to the example of ‘grumpy’, first of all one may wish envisage the word and then draw some association in their mind. Who can be the image of the word ‘grumpy’ and why! Sometimes words don’t have a specific meaning but a meaningful explanation.
Hope I could add value to the topic.
Grumpy = me (apparently) so it must mean wise, handsome, witty, charitable and glad of heart.
I love regional semantics - I've always said 'Nicely' as in Just nicely got home - meaning I've only just got home. To me it seems the most natural saying in the world, my wife thinks it's hilarious.
I'm distressed we all see red roughly the same though.
To me, words are only at their best when exchanged between good friends and so misunderstandings shouldn't be an issue.
Perhaps if we ALL tried harder to be friends and realise that we are ALL the same, the world would be the most perfect place.
It reminds me of 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. We all colour our experiences with our own interpretations and give personal meanings to words which are spoken to us.
Sadly though, this leads to consfusion rather than clear communication.
Grumpy is not a word that I use personally - partly because I'm not keen on the sound of it and - rather like the word "giggle" - partly because of the way that it's used by others. In my experience it's often used as a euphemism for angry or annoyed or irritable - when one of those words would be more accurate - when someone wants to diminish the level of emotion that has been displayed by another. Conversely, it's also used as a way of warning someone that a display of emotion of anger or anything appoaching it will not be acceptable e.g. "Oh, don't be grumpy" when a more constructive approach would be to ask the other person how they are feeling.
here comes the science bit...
imnsho, this is really straying into contemplation of Korzybski and general semantics...
'the map is not the territory"
language can only ever be the expression of a thought or idea, not the thought or idea itself*
everyone has a unique association, context and interpretation of words.. and in physical interaction, non-verbal communication forms the majority of the social interaction, then paraverbal (e.g. intonation, conversational history e.g. 'in-jokes' etc), with linguistic content forming only a small percentage...
...certainly something to consider when people are slinging the 'semantic web' buzzwords about...
*unless you're willing to use z-schema or other formal specification languages (shudders at the memories), at which point we become virtual caricatures of Tristram Shandy... plus, ye cannae beat a bit of a blether in dialect... ;)
PS i'm feeling Grumpy, but shh, don't tell anyone about my dwarf fetish!